Anyone who lives in Chicago or the Western Burbs as I do, have no doubt encountered the conspicuity vest wearing "beggars" who flock to cars with handfuls of tootsie rolls, leaflets, and money receptacles, trumpeting their cause, darting quickly out of traffic as the light turns green.

I for one am torn....while many of these charities are quite worthwhile (Knights of Columbus, Kiwanians, etc) many are from organizations with no local roots. I see flocks of young employment age men on my local corners during the weekday, during normal business hours, with what seems to be about a metric ton of peanut M&M's as bait for the soccer mom with cash to spare. "The Nameless, You'll Barely Remember, Christian School for Unknown Boys and Girls of the Greater Somewhere Metropolitan Conference."

HUH?

Why aren't these people working?

OR ARE they?

Are these even real charities? I feel as if I might be giving my quarter to the wrong organization, much like the hapless Senior who asks for the Cancer Society of America, rather than the American Cancer Society when dialing 411.

So I try and avoid eye contact with the charities with questionable lineage. The well trained and out of work bill collector types stand at my window and talk to me through closed glass, even as I feign a phone conversation or belt out a Shania Twin tune in my best falsetto.

I fear that they will one day push the "Bubble Off Plumb" crowd too far, tempting the poor sucker whose wife just left him as he lost his job because he had to take his dying dog to the vet to use them as two legged orange targets. I confess I think it would make a great skit for one of many comedy shows on cable.....

A bigger question is what these moronic municipalities are THINKING allowing these goofs in the middle of the street.

I called my local PD, and the response I got was "Well, they have permits and they are wearing orange vests."

Yeah! But let me try and put a few fall leaves in the street by the curb and they're paging out the SWAT team. Lord help me if I try and burn a few.....